Dear Street Scene Girl

I don’t know if you remember me, I’d like to think you do but if you’re blood is as cold as the encounter we had then maybe not. Let me remind you.

I walked in with my friend some weeks ago, looking at the clothes and shit, nothing special, and I decided to try to flirt with you when I was checking out. Really the goal was to just talk but, ya know whatever. Thought you were cute so I said the first shitty thing that came to my head which was “Ya know, I never really understood the bags here… No handles or anything, just a bag, slit, thing…” Needless to say I regret what I said the moment I started talking… But I don’t think I’ll ever forget your response. You looked at me, put the shirt I bought in the stupid slit of a bag, and with a straight face, shittily crumpled the top of the bag, and said “There you go, it has a handle now.”

Needless to say I was stifling some intense laughter as I took the bag out of your hand.

So I’ve told some people about this absolutely cold blooded encounter, and I just want you to know, whenever I see you next I’m going to try again and I’m going to be smoother.

We’ll get some coffee, it’ll be chill.

I can figure out if you’re a total cunt or really one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. It’ll be a good time.

Looking forward to it,              Your Bad Flirter,         John Burke


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